Memorial Service - Mum

[AsleepInYorkshire]

Hopefully, this week, we will be able to firm up a date for Mum's Memorial Service, which will hopefully be in late March.

I've no idea what latitude we will be given regarding the service. We are preparing a eulogy as a bare minimum and would like to work closely with the Vicar to have a service which Mum would appreciate. Mum never discussed any hymns or prayers she would like.

Me, the good lady and daughter would like this song to be played amongst other input we may be allowed.

I Can Only Imagine

The back story to the song does have some relevance. The writer was abused by his father as a child. He left home to pursue his own life singing. His father later died of cancer, but before doing so the two were reconciled. After his father died he wrote this song. I hasten to add my Mum didn't abuse me, but my Dad was a difficult personality.

It's a Christian song and it had a huge amount of success in the USA.

I've no wish to assume you would like to listen to the song. However, if you do, may I suggest you listen to all of it.

Take care

AiY(D)

[tjh290633]

I've listened to it. Many memorial services feature music which has a relevance to the deceased. I have given my children copies of how I would like mine to be conducted and the music to be used.

Talk about it with the person who will conduct the service. He or she will have a good bit of experience in this sort of thing. When in the service to play it will be important. You have given thought to the eulogy, and that might be the time to explain why you want this tune to be played. There is no set format so you have a lot of leeway. Think about the structure of the service, which your Vicar may be able to propose for you.

I hope that you are able to have a suitable celebration of your Mother's life.

TJH

[pje16]

As TJH says there is a lot of leeway so pick from the advice of those who have carried lots of these out in the past
may I offer a suggestion which may or may not be suitable
When my mum passed 4 years ago the funeral director suggested having a large framed photo of her in a prominent place, in our case it was on top of the coffin.
It was a lovely idea, during the service I couldn't take my eyes of it - THERE was my mum

[stewamax]

Another option - and one that I went to and enjoyed - is not to have a memorial service but have a 'delayed wake': held in early summer in a smallish marquee in the widow's garden with lots of sparkling wine (no food) and everyone from her late husband's different circles of friends having a name tag (first name and association: "John - bridge club") to help mingling.
For Anglicans at least there is no strict need (some my disagree!) for a religious context as praying for the souls of the dead is not permitted (but nevertheless happens in some Anglo-Catholic churches).

Goes without saying that because of COVID and the weather, delaying to summer is beneficial.

[niord]

As TJH says there is a lot of leeway so pick from the advice of those who have carried lots of these out in the past
may I offer a suggestion which may or may not be suitable
When my mum passed 4 years ago the funeral director suggested having a large framed photo of her in a prominent place, in our case it was on top of the coffin.
It was a lovely idea, during the service I couldn't take my eyes of it - THERE was my mum

I would second that, I had a large photo of my wife by the coffin 3years ago. It was good to look at her as she was and not just look at a coffin.

[MaraMan]

It is my Mum's funeral tomorrow and we have appointed a Celebrant who has organised everything. We are having a slide show of about 26 photos. She will conduct the service (non religious). I will be presenting a eulogy and the celebrant will talk about Mum's life and family, well the bits I don't cover, as well as introduce the music and poetry that has been selected.

She is also arranging the web cast so that people at home and abroad who cannot make it to the service will be able to watch, live or at a later date.

MM