Kindness

[AsleepInYorkshire]

Making my now regular trip to the local church of do it yourself I decided to listen to Radio 2. The presenter, who's name I don't have to hand, was reading out various letters she'd received about acts of kindness. I often wonder if I am genuinely kind enough. And at times I'd suggest one of my worst failings is I can be too helpful. I'm not going to confuse being helpful with being kind but I suspect there's a large overlap.

Any way’s one of the letters that was read out inspired me to reflect about how I perceive about my own kindness. Perhaps kindness is subjective and belongs to each of us as individuals. Probably so. And I have to say any effort to measure kindness is as naive as trying to drain the Indian Ocean during monsoon season. But what the hell

So on a very light-hearted note I thought I’d put up a poll and also invite those who are interested to comment on moments when acts of kindness have come their way or even when they feel they have been kind to others.

Finally before I close, I’ve sometimes found that when I’ve tried to be kind to others that on occasions they seem to want to “bill me”. I don’t expect others to blow smoke up my rear if I chose to be kind, but I also feel that in the presence of narcissists kindness is not beneficial to self-preservation.

My question is this ... you’re in a queue in the petrol station waiting to pay. The person in front of you has forgotten to bring their wallet with them and is unable to pay. They cannot get hold of anyone on their phone to make the payment and the petrol station refuses to let them go until payment has been made.

What do you do …

AiY(D)

[bungeejumper]

Would have been option two, but sadly I got suckered once by paying a vulnerable-looking young woman's restaurant bill. Never heard from her again, obviously. Oh well, I can console myself that my heart was in the right place. I might do it again, but perhaps I'd be a bit more careful.

Once upon a time, petrol stations would accept a customer's mobile phone as a temporary deposit while they went home and brought back a card or some cash. Does that still happen?

BJ

[Howyoudoin]

Too many variables but most people don’t need their wallet to pay for something these days, they can pay with the phone that you say is being used to try and contact someone else to make the payment on their behalf?

HYD

[servodude]

Number two.. normally.
Hasn't really hurt me yet.
But about 6mth back there was an old girl who couldn't get a card to work at the local independent supermarket and when I offered to help out, it turned out it was above my paywave transaction limit cos I only had my phone (which was probably a variation on her problem also)... which was a bit awkward
But we worked with the check out lass to hold her stuff while she could get things sorted by calling family - probably wouldn't have happened in one of the big chains
I think it's worth being as helpful as you can in these circumstances.
The year I got to Aus I was distracted round Xmas time and left 200bucks hanging out an ATM while I walked off taking to the missus on the phone. I got them back about 40mins later after a conversation with the owner of the "7/11" the ATM was attached to and a helpful policeman (helpful in that he couldn't tell me who handed the cash in - but he "would be busy" for a couple of minutes while I read the paperwork attached to the evidence bags they were in). I sent the girl a cinema voucher as a thank you in an anonymous Xmas card.

PS. Happy New Year

X

[Howyoudoin]

Too many variables but most people don’t need their wallet to pay for something these days, they can pay with the phone that you say is being used to try and contact someone else to make the payment on their behalf?

HYD

It’s a shame but there are so many people around trying to game the system that it’s difficult to know who is in real need and who isn’t. I even witnessed a middle aged woman selling items she’d just collected from our foodbank in the local pub. Shocked isn’t the word.

On the other hand, I saw a story on live Breakfast TV this morning about a guy that was just about to set off on his final ‘one marathon a day’ 365 challenge for 2022 for in aid of Macmillans Cancer. Jeepers. Properly inspiring stuff. Had to keep trying his Justgiving page for over an hour as clearly the traffic had crashed the website.

HYD

[Rhyd6]

I learnt my lesson the hard way in 1957. I was attending the Girl Guide World Camp which was held in Windsor Great Park and had saved the princely sum of £5 pocket money to take with me. On the last week one of the girls which whom I was sharing a tent was in tears because she had lost her purse with all her money in it. Four of us clubbed together and lent her £1 each which she promised fathfully to return when she reached home in Glasgow. Needless to say not one of received any money back and my mother was so annoyed by this that she even contacted the Guide Captain but was told that the girl in question had left the movement. I was so shocked that a Guide could do that to other Guides - I'd probably led a very sheltered life. After this incident my father gave me a valuable piece of advice "neither a borrower or a lender be*. It's served me well since.

R6

[bungeejumper]

It’s a shame but there are so many people around trying to game the system that it’s difficult to know who is in real need and who isn’t. I even witnessed a middle aged woman selling items she’d just collected from our foodbank in the local pub. Shocked isn’t the word.

I'll raise you the five desperate-looking young people who were begging with their two skinny dogs on the steps of our local station, a few years back. I was just returning to my car, an hour later, when they came swooping past me in a shiny brand-new hire car. Clearly, the game was worth the daily rental fee. As well as making mugs of well-meaning people, these types spoil it for all those who are in serious need.

But I think AiY's point was that we need to try and focus on the act of giving itself. When we give, we have to accept that some of our benevolence will fall upon stony ground, or maybe it'll get eaten by the rats. That doesn't mean it wasn't worth doing.

And anyway, some scammers resort to deception because they really are hungry, or desperate in some other way. You can be both at once. I dimly recall one of Peter Sellers' films, Heavens Above!, in which the naive new vicar in the village invites the local travellers to stay, and in the morning all the silver has disappeared. When his church superiors admonish him for his stupidity, he replies something along the lines of: "Well of course they've taken the silver. They're poor, and we're not, and it was there."

Challenging stuff, especially in 1963!

BJ

[XFool]

I'm dying to know what the person who voted 'Other' has in mind.

[XFool]

I learnt my lesson the hard way in 1957. I was attending the Girl Guide World Camp which was held in Windsor Great Park

That reminds me...

Though not in the Scouts, as a child in 1957 I attended Sutton Park (Sutton Coldfield, near Birmingham) with my parents, for the 9th World Scout Jamboree.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Sco ... _of_events

[Lootman]

anyway, some scammers resort to deception because they really are hungry, or desperate in some other way. You can be both at once.

Personally I have never taken the view that being poor is a justification for stealing. I think the myth of Robin Hood might just be responsible for that idea. Plenty of poor people don't steal and a good number of well off people do.

I never lend money as I do not like being owed. So either I make outright gifts or else I keep the money in my pocket.

[UncleEbenezer]

I'm dying to know what the person who voted 'Other' has in mind.

Wouldn't be there in the first place?

[moorfield]

My question is this ... you’re in a queue in the petrol station waiting to pay. The person in front of you has forgotten to bring their wallet with them and is unable to pay. They cannot get hold of anyone on their phone to make the payment and the petrol station refuses to let them go until payment has been made.

Other. Petrol stations have procedures for this kind of thing and they would be able to leave their details (I have had to do this, years ago, albeit when a credit card failed). I would offer to phone friend/family to pass on a message for them.